Consent is a very important thing in life, especially when it comes to sex. Making sure that the person or persons you are having sex with want the same things as you do is fundamental to making sex feel good. 

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What is consent?

Consent is about giving your permission or agreement to something. We often talk about consent in relation to sex. It's often about checking with the person you're having sex with to make sure everything feels right. 

It is also important to know what you want. For example, you may want to have sex, hug, kiss, caress or perform other sexual acts with someone. Consent can be given both verbally and with body language. 

Since 2018, Sweden has had a Sexual Offences Act based on voluntary consent, also known as the Consent Act. This means that sex must always be voluntary and with consent, otherwise it is a crime. Depending on the act, it can be classified as sexual assault or rape. You could say that this means that anything other than a yes to sex is a no.

Important to listen to each other's signals

It is important that the people who are going to have sex with each other are sure that they want the same things. This means taking into account each other's body language, facial expressions and the signals they are sending.

You can call this different yes and no signals. Some examples of yes signals are that both are active in what is happening and seem relaxed and happy.

Some examples of no signals are when one person seems passive and absent-minded, or is tense.

If you are unsure what the other person wants, or if they want to continue, pause and find out. One way is to ask short questions: does it feel good? Do you want to continue? If the other person doesn't seem to want to or is unsure, stop and maybe do something else.

A yes does not mean yes to everything

When having sex, all actions must be consensual, it must be mutual. This means that you may have said yes to making out, but not to taking your clothes off or fondling someone's body. It's important to make sure you both want the same things at the same time.

You can't assume that the other person wants something just because they said yes to making out, for example. Besides, you always have the right to change your mind, even if you said yes in the beginning. 

You don't have to sign any papers or contracts to have sex with someone. But it does require that the people who are going to have sex with each other are polite and listen to each other's signals throughout the sex. Remember that anything other than a yes signal is a no.

Have you been through something that didn't feel right? Or have you had sex with someone who doesn't listen to your signals? Come in and talk to us in the chat!

It's never your fault if someone crosses your boundaries. 

Do you have to have sex when you are in love?

No. Being in love and having sex don't always have to be connected. Some people have sex because they feel like it, while others just want to have sex with someone they're in love with.

We all like different things when it comes to sex. The same is true in relationships where we have different needs. For some, sex may feel important in a relationship, while others don't. They may not feel ready for various reasons, or simply lack interest in having sex.

It can be helpful to think about what makes you feel good in relationships and what makes you feel good about sex.

What you want and need to feel good can also change over time. Remember, no one should pressure you to do something you don't want to do!