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Questions and answers

Frågorna besvaras av en advokat som Tjejjouren Väst samarbetar med och publiceras tillsammans med svaren här på denna sidan ungefär en gång i månaden. Har du en fråga eller fundering som du vill ha hjälp med, skicka in en anonym fråga genom formuläret nedanför. Du som frågar är alltid anonym. Fråga advokaten möjliggörs i samarbete med LOWI Advokater.

Questions and answers

Mitt barn har berättat att hen blivit rörd på ett sexuellt sätt av sin pappa. Ska man alltid tro på vad barnet säger eller är det vanligt att de hittar på. Vad bör jag som förälder göra?

“Din fråga innehåller något som är mycket svårt. Självklart ska man ta sådana uppgifter på allvar även om man också ska veta att barn kan säga saker som kan missförstås eller vara upprepningar av sådant de hört. Rådet är att skriva ner allt som barnet sagt, försöka prata med barnet men också att försöka vara uppmärksam på barnets beteende. Självklart kan man polisanmäla vilket kommer leda till en orosanmälan till socialtjänsten och troligen också till att man försöker hålla förhör med barnet. Varje vårdnadshavare måste skydda sina barn från att utsättas för övergrepp men det är ibland väldigt svårt att skydda barnet från den andra föräldern eftersom barnet också har rätt till en nära och god kontakt med denne.

Det är då svårt att skydda barnet utan bevis, om man hamnar i domstolsprocess, eller om barnet inte pratat till andra, såsom t ex på förskolan vilka hyser oro. Är socialtjänsten involverade och oroliga har man ett indirekt stöd och kan då lättare skydda barnet genom domstolsbeslut. Men ibland kan både socialtjänst och domstol få oro över en förälders misstankar om övergrepp om man inte kan visa annat än sina egna uppgifter. Detta är alltså något som är mycket svårt att svara på kortfattat och svaren är ofta olika beroende på vilken aktör man frågar. Men det viktiga är att barn under alla omständigheter ska skyddas från övergrepp av alla slag.”

Hej! En kväll var jag riktigt full, uppfattade inte vad som hände och minns inte kvällen. Fått återberättat att en kille höll på med mig och rörde mig sexuellt, är det mitt fel, vet inte om jag sagt nej på grund av mitt tillstånd? Han var inte full.

“Det är absolut inte ditt fel om du blivit sexuellt utnyttjad under berusning. Det är brottsligt att utnyttja en person som är full. Det går inte att avgöra om det du utsatts för är en sexuellt ofredande eller om det kan utgöra våldtäkt. För det senare har vi idag en samtyckeslagstiftning som ställer stora krav på att man ska försäkra sig om att den man har sex med vill det. Jag tycker att du ska polisanmäla händelsen. Då kan polisen även höra de vittnen som sett det hela.”

Tillägg från Tjejjouren Väst: Oavsett om du polisanmäler detta eller inte och oavsett vad som sker med den polisanmälan så har personen gjort något mot dig du inte var med på, vilket inte är ok. Du kan alltid komma in och prata i vår anonyma stödchatt, hos oss kan du prata om allt.

Jag har ångest i skolan jag har haft det i 3 år. Skolan säger att dom inte kan hjälpa mig med min ångest men de tycker jag är fel. Jag vet inte vad jag ska göra mot min ångest när den kommer. Ska inte skolan hjälpa en när man har det svårt?

“Du skriver inte om din ångest beror på problem i skolan. Är det så kanske man behöver kontakta rektor och lärare för att förändra saker till det bättre. Skolan har ett ansvar för utbildning och har även skolhälsovård och tillgång till kurator. Det är dock så att om man lider av psykisk ohälsa såsom ångest bör man söka vård på egen hand, utanför skolan. Man kan fråga skolhälsovården vart man ska vända sig, såsom t ex BUP. Om du har föräldrar som kan hjälpa dig är det en bra början.”

Får en 18-årig person ligga med en person precis har fyllt 15 år?

“En person som är 15 år är ”sexuellt myndig”, även om man precis har fyllt år. Det betyder att den personen får ha sex med vem som helst, men samtycke måste naturligtvis alltid föreligga mellan båda personerna. Frivillighet kan aldrig anses föreligga om en person deltar till följd av hot eller våld, eller om en gärningsperson utnyttjar att den andra personen befinner sig i en beroendeställning. Inte heller kan samtycke föreligga om en av personerna befinner sig i en särskilt utsatt position på grund av medvetslöshet eller påverkan av alkohol eller droger. Den äldre personen måste vidare alltid försäkra sig om att den yngre personen verkligen är 15 år.

Barn under 15 år skyddas genom lagstiftning på så sätt att man inte själv kan bestämma att man vill ha frivilligt sex med någon. Den som har sex med ett barn under 15 år kan därmed dömas för våldtäkt mot barn, trots att båda parter deltagit frivilligt”.

Hej, min make har begärt skilsmässa, vi har två små barn och jag har inget arbete för tillfället. Vi har ett hus som vi har köpt tillsammans med gemensamma pengar som vi hade. Han har även skickat in ett äktenskapsförord med min signering som han har imiterat utan mitt medgivande. Kan ni snälla hjälpa mig!

“Det är svårt att ge korrekta svar utan mer information om omständigheterna utan svaret är  generellt. Utgångspunkten är att du är i behov av pengar, då du skriver att du saknar arbete för tillfället och utgår från att din exmake inte medverkar. 

Om ni båda står på lagfarten på huset äger du, oaktat ett äktenskapsförord, halva huset och har sedermera rätt till halva värdet vid en försäljning. Är du osäker på lagfarten kan du kostnadsfritt kontakta inskrivningsmyndigheten på Lantmäteriet via telefon eller mail. För det fall du inte står som lagfaren ägare på huset kan man, om man uppfyller vissa rättsliga krav, ha rätt till något som kallas dold samäganderätt i huset. Det skulle också skulle kunna ge dig rätt till en andel av värdet vid en försäljning, även här oaktat ett äktenskapsförord. För att omvandla en dold samäganderätt till en öppen kan man behöva stämma vid domstol. Hur du når en försäljning rent praktiskt beror på omständigheterna i ditt specifika fall, men kan också innebära att du behöver gå via domstol om din exmake inte medverkar. 

Vad gäller äktenskapsförordet tolkar jag dig som att äktenskapsförordet registrerats i äktenskapsregistret på Skatteverket och jag tolkar dig som att det då gäller urkundsförfalskning i ditt fall, vilket är ett brott som kan anmälas till polisen.

Beroende på innehållet i äktenskapsförordet kommer det med stor sannolikhet att påverka din rätt till bodelning av giftorättsgods, alltså likadelningen av era tillgångar med avdrag för skulder. Om han förfalskat din underskrift och du sedermera gått miste om din rätt i en bodelning finns det åtgärder du kan vidta, men det kräver som oftast att man får göra det på rättslig väg som att stämma vid domstol för att få det fastställt att äktenskapsförordet är ogiltigt eller ansöka om en bodelningsförrättare.

Återigen vill jag vara tydlig med att svaret ovan kan ändras beroende på just dina specifika omständigheter”.

För ungefär fyra år sedan ville jag bryta upp med min dåvarande KK för jag hade fått veta att hans partner inte alls visste om vår relation och troligtvis inte skulle vara så chill med det som han hade fått det att låta. (Vi träffades online och han berättade att hans förhållande var öppet sexuellt). Han hotade att sprida lättklädda bilder på mig och att han skulle berätta för sin tjej som i sin tur skulle komma till mitt jobb och ställa till med kaos om jag inte ville fortsätta ha sex med honom. Jag blev superrädd såklart och stelnade till varje gång jag hörde att det kom en kund i typ två månader efter att han hotat men jag sa nej.

Nu är jag inte rädd för honom längre och skulle verkligen vilja anmäla honom.

Jag tror att jag har kvar screenshots av vår sms-konversation. Är det för sent? Vad för brott har han gjort sig skyldig till? Om han hade övertygat mig och skrämt mig till att fortsätta ligga med honom, hade det varit våldtäkt då?

"There could be different crimes that have taken place but it is difficult to say with so little information and the assessment depends on the way he has been intimidated and how he has been threatened. This could also be a case of attempted blackmail."

I went on a tinder date about 2 months ago, where the night ended with my date (guy, 25 years old) strangling me while we were arguing on a couch. Earlier in the night he was very respectful, but after he couldn't get a hard-on, he became increasingly dominant and didn't like me "making demands" about what I wanted. I have been in contact with the umo who said that I have been subjected to strangulation sex and possibly sex crimes. I wonder what would happen if I reported him to the police?

Än så länge är jag osäker på huruvida jag vill det eftersom jag förstått det som att han får mitt personnummer vid anmälan, och jag känner mig i nuläget tryggare att han inte vet mer om mig än mitt förnamn. Jag vet hans för och efternamn och adress eftersom vi var på dejt hos honom.

"Sexual offences can be a bit tricky as it tends to be a word against word situation as it usually happens between two people and in private spaces. It requires some form of intent besides negligent rape which means it requires supporting evidence in other ways if the suspect claims e.g. that intercourse was voluntary or that there was no intention to harm anyone.

What happens in a police report is that you are called in for questioning and then if the case continues, he is called in for questioning and served with a notice of suspicion. That's when he finds out who the complainant is. He will not get your name, but he can get your name. After the hearings, the investigator will decide whether to proceed or to close the case."

Addendum from Tjejjouren West: Whether or not you report this to the police and no matter what happens with that police report, the guy has done something to you that you weren't a part of, which is not ok.

What can I do if my mother refuses to give me access to my savings (from piggy bank and birthday card) that are under her bank account?

"In Sweden, unlawful disposal is an offence listed in the Criminal Code, Chapter 10. 4 §. The offence consists in someone, who has acquired property in his possession, taking an action whereby someone is deprived of his right of ownership or security over the property, without this being classified as embezzlement or dishonesty against the principal."

I was raped by a guy who was over 20 when I was 14. The rape took place many years ago. How long afterwards do I have any legal recourse? 

"Since you were under 15, this is child rape. This is exempt from the statute of limitations, which means you can report it and have the case heard."

Is it a crime if your partner has been so harsh that you have been bruised by them?

"It depends on the context in which it happened, the partner's intent and how you perceived it. It could be assault, minor assault or causing bodily harm. But to answer this question, more information is needed, including the extent of the injury. Personal injury requires that the injury is not minor. Furthermore, the question is what the partner's intention was. Whether it was intentional, i.e. whether there was intent to injure, whether it was negligent or accidental."

If you've been tricked into having sex and finally agreed to it, is that a crime? Is it sexual assault or rape?

"Theremay be a case of abuse but need more information about the actions of those involved and the nature of the situation. We also have something called negligent rape. There are different criteria for different crimes."

Addendum from Tjejjouren West: Explanation of the word "props":
Each team normally sets a number of conditions. In order for a law to apply, one or all of these conditions, or prerequisites, must be met.

If you are 15 and your girlfriend is 14, can you have sex?

"Sexual intercourse with someone under the age of 15 is considered child rape when it is considered that someone under the age of 15 cannot give actual consent."

I am a Thai citizen currently living in Sweden. I am very interested in Thai politics and have expressed my views on the King and the government. I have received threats and hatred from others who have different political views both on youtube and facebook but also physically when they showed up at my house.

There have also been pictures taken and livestreams broadcast from my house which led to someone finding me and scratching my car. I have also been approached by a woman who threatens to report me and who continues to contact me despite my asking her to stop. She also says that she has reported me and that I will receive a letter from her lawyer. What can I do to get them to stop threatening and harassing me? I want to continue to have my youtube channel but now don't have much political statement.

"From the information you have provided, you may have been the victim of various forms of crime such as molestation, vandalism, etc. I would advise you to contact the police and explain your situation."

Is it illegal for my school to deny me the right to pray inside the school during recess?

"Based on the fact that you have freedom of religion in Sweden, the school's actions can be interpreted as discriminatory and therefore illegal. However, there are a number of different circumstances that must be taken into account in such an assessment."

Hi, if you are found unconscious in a car after an accident when you drove off the road and then you are taken to hospital and they take a blood test and see that you have a blood alcohol level that is punishable, can you lose your driving licence if no one has seen you driving and there is no evidence that you drove the vehicle? Since you were only found in the vehicle a while later.
Isn't it obvious, but can you be convicted if there is no proof that you were even driving, but only found in the car?

"That's right. It depends on whether you were considered the driver of the car. If it cannot be established whether the person was the driver or a passenger, they cannot be charged or convicted of drink-driving. This is because it is not illegal to be drunk in a car as a passenger."

Hello, The question concerns SoL as I have been placed in another municipality by the municipality I am registered in because I go to school there and have all my social support there. I have been living in supported accommodation during the investigation period but they want to move me back to my home municipality where my parents are very established and I consider it threatening.

The answer I received is that I have to move back because "my parents have a duty of care (going to secondary school) but will not fulfil this and the municipality will only offer you help within the municipality because it does not seem that you have any care needs but we will investigate the need for protection". However, I feel they have diminished everything I have said but I wonder what I can do to continue to be placed in the local authority I am in now - is there anything in the law that protects me or can put me in a better position to pursue this?

"Now I don't know the reason why you are placed away from your parents but from the information I get here it indicates some kind of care deficits on the part of the parents that make you need to be protected from them. If this is true then I would say that there is a need for care in such cases. But I would need to know more about the case in order to give a clearer answer."

A guy came to talk to me on the internet and he was upset that I didn't answer. So he threatened and insulted me and said bad things in many ways.And he said he would inform the police to send me back to Thailand. He said I don't have a Swedish passport, but I do. I have a permanent visa to stay here.

Is it illegal to make false threats? I feel discriminated against.

"Reporting someone to the police on false grounds is a crime called false confession. Another question is how the threats were made. It could be a question of harassment or unlawful threats, depending on the way in which it was done."

Hi! I am a 12 year old girl who has been sexually assaulted on Snapchat. It's been over a month since it happened, but I'm just wondering if it's too late to report it to the police? Since I don't have much evidence or anything.

"It's not too late to report, but it would be good if you could back up your story with some kind of evidence. It could be a picture of the chat, username etc."

Hi. Is it illegal to name a person who has sexually assaulted you? Unless the person is convicted in court or something.

"There is a risk that it will be defined as defamation.

Addendum from Tjejjouren West: 

It can be difficult to know what exactly defamation means. Defamation could be described simply as not saying anything about other people that makes them appear less worthy in the eyes of others. To simplify even further, you could say that you must not say anything that makes others think badly of someone. A common criminal offence is to label someone as a criminal."

How do you know that another person has given you consent? Is it just by words or what counts as consent?

"It is not clear from the question what the consent requested is for - therefore it is difficult to answer legally.

Addendum from Tjejjouren West: 

When you are going to have sex or otherwise be physical with a person, you need the consent of everyone involved. The fact that a person does not say no or is silent does not mean that there is consent.
You can read more about consent here.
You can also watch this clip which explains consent in a simple way."

Hi. My daughter 30 years old suffers from mental illness, plus various diagnoses. I have been made aware of her selling sex to men. This little 30 year old is a little child psychologically, with her diagnoses.
What should I do? What can we do?

"Unfortunately, this is not a legal issue."

Post from Tjejjouren Väst: It sounds like you and your daughter are having a hard time. From your story, it sounds like your daughter may be having sex as a self-harming behavior. Could there be traumas of her own your daughter has that she needs to work through and go to therapy for? 

There are associations that provide both support and emergency help to people who sell sex or have been sexually abused.

Examples of associations/organisations to contact are: https://www.talita.se/

Association Together discussion group: https://www.foreningentillsammans.se/stodhttps://www.foreningentillsammans.se/stod

If your daughter is having difficulty making ends meet, you can also apply for housing assistance from the municipality. Our final tip is to try to get a SIP - coordinated individual plan. This is a way of forcing collaborative meetings with the health service, they must not deny you this. However, the person needs to have contact with other agencies, such as social services: https://www.uppdragpsykiskhalsa.se/sip/

We hope this can help you move forward!

Is it illegal to threaten to distribute nude pictures??

"It can be a crime to disseminate nude images and also a crime to threaten to disseminate nude images. In this case, if it is only a threat, it falls within the scope of unlawful threats, Chapter 4. 5 of the Criminal Code - "Anyone who threatens another person with a criminal act in a way that is likely to cause the threatened person to seriously fear for his or her own or another person's safety, property, freedom or peace, shall be sentenced for unlawful threat to a fine or imprisonment for up to one year".

If you have been raped but have not reported it because you have been feeling extremely bad but now you have got help and want to report it 5 months later, is it likely that he will be convicted of it or will he get away with it. He was 18 I was 15.

"Unfortunately, we can't answer how likely it is that he will be convicted or whether he will get away with it. However, it needs to be investigated by the police and if you have witnesses or other evidence to support that the crime took place, it is a good idea to submit it when you report the crime to the police."

I have adhd and depression. I am 16 years old and would like to have a contact family to stay with sometimes. I don't know if I will be living in the same city this fall. How do I get a contact family?

"You can apply for a contact family through the social services in the municipality where you live."

My ex has crude sexual images of me and he is a psychopath through and through. I'm afraid he'll leak the pictures if I report him for rape, among other things, or apply for a restraining order (he SWISHES me at this point...). What should/can I do?! Help me

"You can try to persuade him to delete the pictures of you. If he distributes the photos or threatens to distribute them if you file a police report, he may be guilty of a crime. ."

Hi my son is 12 years old we were at court 2019 and he doesn't want to see his dad. The father has visitation every other weekend. Last time dad was drunk and taken by the police and was reported and aggressive. Can I deny visitation. Does anyone listen to their son?

"If you consider that the access is associated with risks for your son, you can refuse access. As I understand your question, what you are describing has taken place during the access, which your son should not have to witness. However, you should have a dialogue with the social services about this in order to avoid any allegations of abuse by the child's father.

Your son has reached an age where his will is also important, so his voice should also be heard by social services."

If someone says something homophobic, for example that homosexuality does not exist, that people who "claim" to be homosexual are inferior to others, or that the person hates homosexuals, is that a crime?
I've heard that it varies depending on how many people are there listening, i.e. whether it's a private conversation or not? If so, where is the line?

"This question cannot really be answered as it depends on a number of different circumstances. You can read more about hate crime here: https://polisen.se/lagar-och-regler/lagar-och-fakta-om-brott/hatbrott/"

If my ex has threatened me on snap and I report it, do my parents have to go to the police?

"You can choose to make a police report on your own, however your parents will be informed of your report if you are under 18 years old. If you are then called in for questioning, your parents do not need to accompany you. As a victim of crime, you usually have the right to have an advocate present during police questioning."

Do I have to live with my dad? He says mean things to me and we really don't get along.

"If the case has been closed, you have the right to request a review of the closure decision, which is a request to have the decision amended. An appeal is made in writing and sent to the authority where the decision was taken."

Hi, my daughter has told me that she has been sexually assaulted. We reported it to the police and her daughter had to be interviewed. We parents were not allowed to be involved and we were not given any information. Now we have received the letter that the police are closing the case because they have not found any evidence. How do we proceed with this so that my daughter gets help?

"You can choose to live with your mother and hope that your father accepts it. If your father does not accept your choice, you can contact another adult at school or the social services in your municipality. You should not have to live with a parent you do not like."

I wonder if I have to live with my mother if I don't want to. I just want to live with my dad?

"You can choose to live with your father and hope your mother will accept it. If your mother does not accept your choice, you can contact another adult at school or the social services in your municipality."

Hi I am 14 years old and will be 15 next year. I am dating a guy who is 18. Massa says it's illegal and I wonder if they are right? And what can happen then?

"Your relationship itself is not illegal. However, since you are under 15, it is illegal for your boyfriend to have sexual intercourse with you. The Criminal Code states that anyone who has sexual intercourse or performs a similar act against a person under the age of 15 can be convicted of child rape."

If I tell the school counsellor something, will she tell me?

"A counsellor has a duty to report, which means that he or she is obliged to report a concern to the social services if, in the course of his or her work, he or she becomes aware of or suspects that a child is being abused. There is therefore no guarantee that the counsellor will not report a concern if he or she believes that you are at risk of harm. "